ScoreRanking 2827points

Average daily score / Average monthly score 32 / 55

Average entries per day / Average entries per month 1 / 9

Best tweet ever

90
Points
Drink and don't drive - an anastrophe I live by darlings.
30 May 2011

Latest tweets

  • 27
    Points
    They say it's what's on the inside that counts - but it all looks like the same old shade of incarnadine to me.
    06 November 2011
  • 35
    Points
    A cornucopia seems like the most improper use of a goat's horn - I mean, where else do you keep your Eye of Newt?
    04 November 2011
  • 28
    Points
    Darlings, I'd tweet about 'profligacy' except I'm too busy drunkenly throwing my silverware out the window.
    03 November 2011
  • 20
    Points
    Faded, worn, distressed; darlings, if my epidermis was a pair of jeans I'd be right on trend.
    02 November 2011
  • 35
    Points
    My childhood terriculament involved accidentally breaking a mirror - now, it involves accidentally looking into one.
    31 October 2011
  • 51
    Points
    The 'Heebie-Jeebies'? How charming to have a pet name for your anxiety disorder.
    30 October 2011
  • 11
    Points
    Apparently a proletarian is a member of the working class. I don't know what that means, but I do know there's nothing classy about working.
    29 October 2011
  • 28
    Points
    Fulvous? Just what the world needs darlings - another word for beige.
    23 October 2011
  • 20
    Points
    I don't believe in Tarantism - in fact, after I was bitten it was the spider who did the dancing. Turns out it was alcohol poisoning.
    22 October 2011
  • 28
    Points
    Jaunce? Why, the last time I did that the word had only just been invented.
    20 October 2011
  • 22
    Points
    Steatopygia: finally, a word with which to torment Yvette that is as conspicuous as the buttocks it describes.
    19 October 2011
  • 41
    Points
    Anacoluthia? No dears, it's just the gin talking.
    17 October 2011
  • 37
    Points
    Empyrean tequila, darlings? Ooh, that heavenly burn.
    16 October 2011
  • 38
    Points
    I've always thought Yvette's faux fur coat a little tawdry - but that's mainly because she wears so little underneath it.
    15 October 2011
  • 20
    Points
    It's said that a ham is best left covered until just before consumption. I wish Yvette would treat her hams with the same respect.
    10 October 2011
  • 35
    Points
    Remember this little zeugma and you'll get away with murder my dears: Arouse the detective, but not his suspicions.
    09 October 2011
  • 23
    Points
    Darling, you flatter. Why, nobody has called me a geriatric in years.
    07 October 2011
  • 15
    Points
    Darlings, you flatter. Why, nobody's called me a geriatric for years.
    07 October 2011
  • 34
    Points
    Always be circumspect in affairs of the heart: look in his eyes to see if he loves you, and look in his wallet to see if you love him back.
    31 August 2011
  • 16
    Points
    Damn discursive discourse darlings - as anyone who's met my dagger knows, I like to get to the point.
    29 August 2011
  • 41
    Points
    Dead husbands do have their uses darlings - whereas live ones leave you poor and pregnant, mine left me rich and regnant.
    27 August 2011
  • 28
    Points
    Darlings, I do not favour the neologism: why create new words when people clearly can't handle the old ones?
    26 August 2011
  • 25
    Points
    Many people ask themselves 'Why am I here?' For me, the answer is simple: an indefatigable liver.
    25 August 2011
  • 48
    Points
    I suspect Yvette is employing a homophone when she says that I enjoy nothing more than a good wine.
    05 July 2011
  • 67
    Points
    Autoschediasm - I'll drink to that! Oh wait, I already have.
    04 July 2011
  • 38
    Points
    Damn this prolix cocktail menu. I don't need to know what's in my drink - just how many are needed to make the pain go away.
    25 June 2011
  • 10
    Points
    Sorry darlings, I've nothing to report - just another banal evening for me and five bottles of gin.
    21 June 2011
  • 40
    Points
    Apparently, activities of an ipsilateral nature can cause postural imbalances. Which is why, my dears, I always carry a drink in each hand.
    18 June 2011
  • 59
    Points
    Darlings, what will restore my hardihood? Why, I think a glass of chardy would.
    17 June 2011
  • 45
    Points
    Darlings, you may regard my opinion as subjective - but let me assure you it's right.
    15 June 2011

Awards

Top 5 30 October 2011 Heebie-jeebies
51
Points
Top 20 17 October 2011 Anacoluthia
41
Points
Top 20 15 October 2011 Tawdry
38
Points
Top 20 09 October 2011 Zeugma
35
Points
Top 20 31 August 2011 Circumspect
34
Points

Daily stats

08 Nov 2011 0 points
07 Nov 2011 0 points
06 Nov 2011 27 points
05 Nov 2011 0 points
04 Nov 2011 35 points
03 Nov 2011 28 points
02 Nov 2011 20 points
01 Nov 2011 0 points
31 Oct 2011 35 points
30 Oct 2011 51 points
29 Oct 2011 11 points
28 Oct 2011 0 points
27 Oct 2011 0 points
26 Oct 2011 0 points
25 Oct 2011 0 points
24 Oct 2011 0 points
23 Oct 2011 28 points
22 Oct 2011 20 points
21 Oct 2011 0 points
20 Oct 2011 28 points
19 Oct 2011 22 points
18 Oct 2011 0 points
17 Oct 2011 41 points
16 Oct 2011 37 points
15 Oct 2011 38 points
14 Oct 2011 0 points
13 Oct 2011 0 points
12 Oct 2011 0 points

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